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Look good, feel good (thanks Eva Mendes!).

Hayley Mullins

Who knew sweatpants were so polarizing?

New mom Eva Mendes came under fire from moms everywhere last week for saying that sweatpants cause divorce (click here if you missed it).   While I’m pretty sure she was joking, that didn’t stop the onslaught of angry comments from those who disagreed. Arguments against Eva included:

  • She has enough money for a full time staff.
  • I actually take care of my children, and my clothes are always stained.
  • My husband thinks I’m sexiest in sweatpants.

I feel the need to play devil’s advocate…

  • Yes, she likely has help, but aren’t we, as moms, worth 15 minutes to pull ourselves together?
  • Yes, kids are messy, but jeans go in the washing machine as easily as pajama bottoms.
  • Yes, your husband thinks you are sexy no matter what. He’d better. He married you and loves you. And since he loves you so much, making an effort every so often can be nice... for both of you.

I’ve felt strongly about something since becoming a mother myself: your kids can’t drink from an empty well, so it is important to take care of yourself; when you look good, you FEEL good. It’s not anti-feminist, and it’s not superficial – it’s fact.

Have you ever noticed how moms are portrayed in movies? Stressed. Overtired. Sloppy.   I know, it’s pretty accurate - especially in the early days (if you are still in the first 3 months, stop reading and go to sleep!) - but is that really the message that we want to send the world until our kids are out of the house? I know I don’t, and not just for my self-image, but for my daughters. I want them to know that it’s important for them to take time for themselves, and to never feel bad for making it a priority.  I don't want them to feel bad for caring... It doesn't make them less of a mother/wife/friend to care about themselves too.

Have you heard the saying “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”? It’s true. I may be tired and stressed, but when I look pulled together, I FEEL pulled together. The time we take for ourselves is crucial for everyone we love, so brush your hair, put on clothes you feel great in (and if that’s sweatpants, more power to you!), and if you’re so inclined, do your make-up. You’re not neglecting your children, you’re teaching them to invest time in themselves. It shows you have self-worth, and provides cues to those around you for how you expect to be treated: you’re confident, a pro. You’ve got this.

Fake it ‘til you make it, Mamas.  

H.M. 

 


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